


Waterfalls

by Sir_Thopas



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Humor, Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 17:33:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15912990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sir_Thopas/pseuds/Sir_Thopas
Summary: There's no plumbing in the Wasteland. Or toilet paper. Or privacy. Nora tries to cope.





	Waterfalls

The streets were covered in mud, broken glass, and excrement. Whole caravans of brahmin trampled through the thoroughfare, defecating as they walked. The people didn't seem to notice. They waded through it, oblivious to the fact that their boots – those that had them – were caked in feces. They walked into stores and homes without bothering to wipe their feet, tracking it everywhere. Every time Nora breathed in the stench burned her nostrils and clung to her tongue.

She and Piper walked around a corner, carefully side-stepping a man whose pants were around his ankles, his bare ass pressed against the side of the building as he shitted against it. "Damn power noodles... fucking Chinese plot..." He moaned.

"Gardy loo!"

"Watch out, Blue." Piper tugged on her shirt, pulling her back just in time as piss landed right in front of her feet. Nora looked up to see a woman hanging out of a window, shaking whatever was left inside the chamberpot outside, before ducking back in.

That night Nora dreamed of pristine white toilets flushing endlessly.

* * *

"Here's the latrine," Paladin Danse stated as he showed her around the back of the police station.

It was a hole. A huge hole full of shit. How exactly was she suppose to do this? There was nothing to hold on to. She was going to fall ass-first into a pit full of shit and then she would cry and Danse would laugh at her. Nora eyed Danse, at the stern, hardly changing expression on his face. Okay, maybe he wouldn't laugh. He'd definitely rethink asking her to join the Brotherhood, though.

"Um, when will Scribe Haylen be back?" Nora asked, her face already flushing with embarrasment.

"She's not due back for several hours. Why? Is there a problem?"

"It's just... well, I can't exactly just 'whip it out', now can I? How do I keep my balance?"

"Men have to squat on occasion as well. It's not hard. If you're worried about it I can hold your hand."

At first, Nora thought he was being sarcastic, or possibly lewd. But no. This was Danse talking. He offered it like it was no big deal, like it was something that people just did out here. Casually holding onto their friends and comrades so they didn't go tumbling into a latrine. Completely normal. Just one soldier helping another out.

With a sigh, Nora unbuckled her trousers and pushed them down to her ankles. She squatted over the latrine, Danse holding on to her forearm in his big hand, and she prayed she didn't let one rip as she pissed into the hole.

* * *

"So... what exactly do you use for toilet paper?"

"What?"

"You know, how do you wipe your ass after taking a shit?"

"What's the matter? Is your left hand broken or something?"

"Oh my fucking God."


End file.
